we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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