Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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