i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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