This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
