i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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