I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
