so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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