Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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