An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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