Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
