On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
