I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
