I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
