I must be too annoying 4 u.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
