chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
