I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
