What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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