Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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