Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
