break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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