Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My vagina is officially offended.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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