she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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