she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
