that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
