just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
