so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
