dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Will exercising make me less horny?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
