There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
