We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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