Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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