billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We talked him into tasing himself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
