Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
