It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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