He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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