bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
