Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
