No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
