We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
