Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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