if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
its liver damage thursday
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
