Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
