The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
