Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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