And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
