I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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