yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
