i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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