Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
