yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize