You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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